I, I didn't have any knowledge, I didn't have any education on how to, on where to go if someone's going through a really unhealthy relationship and that. So, it's you just feel really helpless when you see your best friend in like a terrible relationship.

I don't think, as a fifteen-year-old, I should have to govern the relationship of my friends...And as much as I want to help her, as a child myself, I don't have the skills to do that. I can't govern a seventeen-year-old that's manipulating and emotionally abusing someone else…​I know that, it’s just it was damaging for me; it’s damaging for them.

I had a very close friend who went through a very toxic, controlling and, I believe, emotionally abusive relationship. She is no longer with him but whilst they were together it seemed that any friend of hers who spoke badly about him was cut out of her life pretty quickly. We were all 21 at the time and none of us knew how to help her see the abuse so we didn't talk about it and just tried to be there for her.

I think more understanding about abuse and more discussion of controlling behaviours would be really helpful as I remember at the time having no idea what to do and feeling very worried for my friend and completely unable to help.

My best friend has been in an emotionally and financially abusive relationship for a couple of years now. We would have long conversations about him over the phone and over WhatsApp. I told her from day one he was a bad idea, I constantly told her she should leave and was worth better. But she just couldn’t pull herself out of it. I couldn’t understand what she could see in this man.

The hardest part for me was feeling so powerless. She would swear she was leaving him but be back the next week. I’ve found her crying on the stairs because he'd kicked doors off the hinges at home...

She would swear she was leaving all the time but the next week he would be back and then she would go silent. She wouldn't talk on the phone in front of him because she couldn’t be open and herself, and couldn’t answer questions about what had happened.

I could see her being harmed mentally but felt going to the police was over stepping the mark and could turn her against me. It was just a feeling of utter powerlessness. Seeing your friend be knocked down to the absolute depths of despair and not feeling able to help... I wish I had been able to do more or had more information on how to help before it got to this point.The social worker told her she’s been in an abusive relationship and I think it took a social worker to tell her for it to really hit home. I told her all the time he was abusive, but he would get back in her head and gaslight her into believing it wasn’t abuse. He'd tell her that they were just as bad as each other and needed to work harder on the relationship.

...I almost feel guilty like a bystander. I’ll always wish I had the confidence to stand up and do more. Maybe if there was more support out there for “the friend” and that invisible front line more girls would be able to break their friends out of abusive relationships.

My friend is a couple of years older than me, and her boyfriend was a few years older than her and lived in another county... Behind her back, he'd cheat, he'd say horrible things about her and tell people he was single. One day, when she went over, he was intoxicated and shouted such mean things to her and made her really upset. He kicked her out, leaving her stranded with no way home... I listened to her story and it broke my heart. I stayed by her side when she needed me but had no idea what else I could do. She told me he'd get in trouble and ruin his chances at work if we did anything.

...he'd send unsolicited d pics and message her asking for pictures. I felt so helpless, like all i could do was comfort her and make sure she was okay afterwards. I didn't know what I could do to help her. She made new accounts, and he found them. She blocked him, he made new accounts, pretending to be someone else. It would've really helped to have more information available to us about what we could have done or where we could've gone for support. I felt like I had failed as her friend.

My friend was in an emotionally abusive relationship, although she didn't realise for a little while. The girl she was dating would manipulate her into thinking her friends hated her... Her low self esteem/worth was destroyed by the girl she was dating. As time went on, it lead to sexual abuse as she was told she had to do xyz, otherwise the girl would kill herself. My friend became super stressed and constantly anxious that if she didn't do what her girlfriend asked, she'd have the responsibility of her life on her hands.

As her friend, I felt helpless, I couldn't stop her seeing her as she would have a panic attack that the girl would end her life. Eventually, my friend made the decision that enough was enough. I supported her, was a shoulder to cry on and physically hid her phone for a weekend whilst she broke up with the girl. The girl manipulated my friend to feel guilty for breaking up with her, and has since tried to ruin many of my friend's other friendships. She's not been in another relationship since.