I have a friend which I think is in an abusive relationship but they don't think they are and that's, I think that's the worst situation possible because they just- they just think that this is normal and good for them…you can't really do anything about it. They'll just get offended if you tell them that this is domestic abuse that you are under.

In school, my best friend was dating a guy who slowly became what I considered emotionally abusive. They began dating and, at that time, they seemed okay. A year later, they were intimate and almost inseparable.

However, he would message other girls on Snapchat which we could all see through his best friends list. She always said this didn’t bother her but we knew it did. He started to become emotionally toxic... he would call the girls he was messaging 'fat, ugly, slags' to her face to please her but then continue to message them.

He eventually kissed one of them. However, she stayed with him as it was a ‘mistake’. I was worried to get involved because she’d be mad at me but he was walking all over her and doing whatever he liked... I told her he was manipulative and that she should ditch him but instead she just grew more paranoid, getting me to watch him at events... I gave up trying and our friendship has fallen apart. She is still dating him and I have no idea why. He is one of those people who isn’t outwardly nasty so gets away with it…

My best friend has been in an emotionally and financially abusive relationship for a couple of years now. We would have long conversations about him over the phone and over WhatsApp. I told her from day one he was a bad idea, I constantly told her she should leave and was worth better. But she just couldn’t pull herself out of it. I couldn’t understand what she could see in this man.

The hardest part for me was feeling so powerless. She would swear she was leaving him but be back the next week. I’ve found her crying on the stairs because he'd kicked doors off the hinges at home...

She would swear she was leaving all the time but the next week he would be back and then she would go silent. She wouldn't talk on the phone in front of him because she couldn’t be open and herself, and couldn’t answer questions about what had happened.

I could see her being harmed mentally but felt going to the police was over stepping the mark and could turn her against me. It was just a feeling of utter powerlessness. Seeing your friend be knocked down to the absolute depths of despair and not feeling able to help... I wish I had been able to do more or had more information on how to help before it got to this point.

The social worker told her she’s been in an abusive relationship and I think it took a social worker to tell her for it to really hit home. I told her all the time he was abusive, but he would get back in her head and gaslight her into believing it wasn’t abuse. He'd tell her that they were just as bad as each other and needed to work harder on the relationship.

...I almost feel guilty like a bystander. I’ll always wish I had the confidence to stand up and do more. Maybe if there was more support out there for “the friend” and that invisible front line more girls would be able to break their friends out of abusive relationships.

One of my best friends from secondary school got into a relationship with a guy that was bad news. It was the first time she was introduced to a seriously scary and threatening environment where she felt (and I felt too) that she couldn’t get out of. This guy would take her out to places and then all of a sudden get into an argument with her and smash her face...she’s shared photos of bruises and wounds with me.

He was so controlling. He always wanted to know who she was speaking to and try to accuse her of cheating. He'd get angry and throw her phone into the RIVER, which she told no one about (but me). He hit her so hard one time he had to take her to the hospital ‘cause he freaked out. When he got there, he started screaming at her and drove off even though she was caught in the car door. He’d showed up at her house (her parents didn't know about her relationship) and would threaten her parents.

I really didn’t even know what to say to her when she told me she went back and he’d abused her again. I really saw it as her walking back into fire... this guy keeps trying to get to her. He puts his no caller ID on and will call LITERALLY 100 times and text her threats. It’s so bad that my friend tells me to regularly check her location to make sure she’s where she’s supposed to be and that he hasn’t kidnapped her.

I had a really close friend who started a relationship with a guy a couple years older online - they had never met. At first, it seemed okay and they seemed to be a really sweet couple.

After a few months they finally met up in person and things began to seem a little controlling. As their relationship continued to develop, me and our other friends commented on his controlling behaviours and she opened up to me about some of the things he said to her. At this point we all thought she needed to leave him, especially as he was 18 and she 16. She wouldn't listen to me and kept telling him everything we said about him.

He became so controlling to the point where he asked her to distance herself from me as I seemed too "lesbian", even though we had been best friends since we were little. She began distancing herself from all her friends and it became really hard for me to talk to her. It was so frustrating as a friend seeing her going back to him everytime I tried to help her. This is still ongoing, except she has "friend broken up" with me. It's been so frustrating watching her become a shell of her old self because of him and trying my hardest to help her and be there for her and lose my friend in the process.”

My friend was dating a guy who would coerce her into doing drugs and put her down so her mental health suffered. She really liked him and saw the red flags but chose to ignore them. I tried to convince her to leave him but she wouldn't listen and I didn't even see telling her family as an option. Luckily he moved away but I didn't/don't know how to get a friend out.

My friend is in a toxic relationship. All the signs are there... She has told stories of being pressured into sex, of him managing her birth control, not respecting boundaries, lots of arguing, and being coercive. However, she has become increasingly hard to talk to. She herself has become volatile and difficult to support. She has become manipulative to us as her friends, and often blows small things into massive arguments, or tries to control us... it puts us all in a very difficult position. She is very hard to get through to. She acknowledges he is not great but just says "its not forever", yet still continues to stay with him.

I have experienced a toxic and controlling relationship which stopped me being independent, I had to keep getting rid of friends, sacrificed my dream sixth form because he wanted me to go to the one they signed up for and often hurt/shouted at me. It got to the point my friends were worried and my boyfriend would find any excuse for me to get rid of friends that "opposed his control" and it got worse and worse, eventually I only had my two best friends (who I had to hang out with in secret from him)...

I reached out to my best friend for advice on a situation which made me feel extremely uncomfortable and actually turned out to have traumatised me for years. I had been coerced into having sex and losing my virginity to a man much older than myself. He used no protection. This terrified me. I sort help and advice from my best friend who invalidated my experience as, from her perspective, sex wasn’t a big deal. I ended up continuing into a relationship with this man after being told it was my fault which then allowed room for the relationship to only become more toxic after that.