My friend’s boyfriend was sometimes a bit rough with her. Pulling her about, not actually hitting her. He would grab at her clothes. He made little digs all the time, putting her down and making her feel she’s not good enough. When others were there he was sweet, hold her hand. Other girls said what a great boyfriend he must be.

My friend was in an emotionally abusive relationship, although she didn't realise for a little while. The girl she was dating would manipulate her into thinking her friends hated her... Her low self esteem/worth was destroyed by the girl she was dating. As time went on, it lead to sexual abuse as she was told she had to do xyz, otherwise the girl would kill herself. My friend became super stressed and constantly anxious that if she didn't do what her girlfriend asked, she'd have the responsibility of her life on her hands.

As her friend, I felt helpless, I couldn't stop her seeing her as she would have a panic attack that the girl would end her life. Eventually, my friend made the decision that enough was enough. I supported her, was a shoulder to cry on and physically hid her phone for a weekend whilst she broke up with the girl. The girl manipulated my friend to feel guilty for breaking up with her, and has since tried to ruin many of my friend's other friendships. She's not been in another relationship since.

My friend's boyfriend was always all over her, touching her and putting his arm around her neck when they were in public, he would never keep his hands off. She didn't look totally comfortable. It was like he was saying: 'you're mine'.

I asked my friend if she was ok in her relationship, it seemed like something was wrong in her body language but she said she was ok. She told me that her boyfriend said he didn't like her talking to anyone else about her relationship, because it made him insecure. She didn't feel free to talk to her friends about how she felt.

I have friends who in the name of having a boyfriend, don’t hang out with any other person…it's like they're in a cage…they love the cage for like two months…but after that they realise that, a cage is a cage no matter how designed and beautiful it is…and I think a lot of relationships with young people nowadays is like a cage. They're just trapping each other.

In school, my bestfriend was dating a guy who slowly became what I considered emotionally abusive. They began dating and, at that time, they seemed okay. A year later, they were intimate and almost inseparable.

However, he would message other girls on Snapchat which we could all see through his best friends list. She always said this didn’t bother her but we knew it did. He started to become emotionally toxic... he would call the girls he was messaging 'fat, ugly, slags' to her face to please her but then continue to message them.

He eventually kissed one of them. However, she stayed with him as it was a ‘mistake’. I was worried to get involved because she’d be mad at me but he was walking all over her and doing whatever he liked... I told her he was manipulative and that she should ditch him but instead she just grew more paranoid, getting me to watch him at events... I gave up trying and our friendship has fallen apart. She is still dating him and I have no idea why. He is one of those people who isn’t outwardly nasty so gets away with it…

My friend from school was in a relationship with a boy who she had been with for a couple of years... they were engaged. When we left school she slowly became distant and wouldn't reply to our texts or would find ways to cancel on us. We asked her so many times if she was ok and she said she was.

When he cheated on her, they broke up and she told us that he had been sexually and emotionally abusing her. He used to manipulate her to thinking that if she saw us, it meant she didn't want to be with him. He would do things sexually that she did not want to do. When she told us, we got her help and made sure we were always available to talk if we wanted to.

My friend is a couple of years older than me, and her boyfriend was a few years older than her and lived in another county... Behind her back, he'd cheat, he'd say horrible things about her and tell people he was single. One day, when she went over, he was intoxicated and shouted such mean things to her and made her really upset. He kicked her out, leaving her stranded with no way home... I listened to her story and it broke my heart. I stayed by her side when she needed me but had no idea what else i could do. She told me he'd get in trouble and ruin his chances in work if we did anything.

“...he'd send unsolicited d pics and message her asking for pictures. I felt so helpless, like all I could do was comfort her and make sure she was okay afterwards. I didn't know what I could do to help her. She made new accounts, and he found them. She blocked him, he made new accounts, pretending to be someone else. It would've really helped to have more information available to us about what we could have done or where we could've gone for support. I felt like I had failed as her friend.

One of my best friends from secondary school got into a relationship with a guy that was bad news. It was the first time she was introduced to a seriously scary and threatening environment where she felt (and I felt too) that she couldn’t get out of. This guy would take her out to places and then all of a sudden get into an argument with her and smash her face...she’s shared photos of bruises and wounds with me.

He was so controlling. He always wanted to know who she was speaking to and try to accuse her of cheating. He'd get angry and throw her phone into the RIVER, which she told no one about (but me). He hit her so hard one time he had to take her to the hospital ‘cause he freaked out. When he got there, he started screaming at her and drove off even though she was caught in the car door. He’d showed up at her house (her parents didn't know about her relationship) and would threaten her parents.

...I really didn’t even know what to say to her when she told me she went back and he’d abused her again. I really saw it as her walking back into fire... this guy keeps trying to get to her. He puts his no caller ID on and will call LITERALLY 100 times and text her threats. It’s so bad that my friend tells me to regularly check her location to make sure she’s where she’s supposed to be and that he hasn’t kidnapped her…

A friend found herself in a very controlling relationship where she wasn’t ‘allowed’ to meet up with friends or work certain days. This meant she started to isolate herself from her closest friends in order to please her boyfriend.

My friend is really caring and one of the people she was living with was having some mental health problems... she was being kind to him and helping. They were friends and then started sleeping together... He could get into these moods where she said he would become like someone else and would want to hurt himself... she became his sole support. She didn't feel attracted to him anymore, but once he made moves and she said she wasn't into it, he said "Well then go, and I'll be here, on my own"...

I kept being her listening ear and let her know that what was going on was not okay, and that her roommate should seek help... She felt so guilty for not taking better care of him and I, gently but firmly, said I understood where she was coming from, but this was not her responsibility. We would keep talking about this over a few months. I told her that she had been psychologically abused and that I thought he had raped her when he implied he would hurt himself if she didn't sleep with him...

When I was a teenager, my best friend started being being paid for sex by her boss. She was only 14 or 15 at the time and he was in his late 50s. We didn't really know what to do at the time and she was very confident and jokey about it. We didn't understand grooming as an idea. We didn't think to report it to the school as they had handled a previous safeguarding issue with this friend really badly... he hid her from his wife. He was paying her hundreds of pounds...

He distributes controlling behaviour... he limits her from being able to see her friends. She's also told me that he can be very aggressive and shout and throw things, though she's never told me he's sexually violent or physically violent.

While I have always told her that I'm here for her if she ever needs it, and while I have often expressed concern for her wellbeing, I have avoided criticising him or giving her any kind of ultimatum as I don't want this to lead to her being alienated or not having friends to go to.

...I am now very frustrated that the school didn't notice the signs of her being groomed (more money, missing school, acting out, overly sexual language and behaviour) when she had previously been very academic and 'well behaved'. I wish we had the understanding of grooming at the time, when we could have got parents or the police involved. Now it is too late as she is an adult.

My friend was dating a guy who would coerce her into doing drugs and put her down so her mental health suffered. She really liked him and saw the red flags but chose to ignore them. I tried to convince her to leave him but she wouldn't listen and I didn't even see telling her family as an option. Luckily he moved away but I didn't/don't know how to get a friend out.

My friend is in a toxic relationship. All the signs are there... She has told stories of being pressured into sex, of him managing her birth control, not respecting boundaries, lots of arguing, and being coercive. However, she has become increasingly hard to talk to. She herself has become volatile and difficult to support. She has become manipulative to us as her friends, and often blows small things into massive arguments, or tries to control us... it puts us all in a very difficult position. She is very hard to get through to. She acknowledges he is not great but just says "it's not forever", yet still continues to stay with him…

My friend's boyfriend's job means that he is on the road all day. Because of this, he rings her all the time, just to chat, as he says it's a boring job. I've told her that this isn't normal as he knows everything she is doing and who she is with and that it's unhealthy that he gets frustrated or annoyed at her when she doesn't answer him...

Myself and her other friends have tried to link her in with support groups or to speak with DA services but she doesn't want 'intervention'. All I can do at this time is be here to offer someone to talk to and try to help her see what support is there but it's tough.

I had a friend who'd broken up with their boyfriend of 4 years when I met her. Despite leaving because it was a toxic, controlling relationship, he still had her under 'his control'. She was stuck, her mental health wasn't great, and she couldn't move on from him because of his manipulation. Countless friends had tried to tell her he wasn't treating her right, but she just didn't want to listen.

Thankfully, she did listen to me, and slowly he started to lose that control; she's finally moved on. But, I worry about her. She doesn't trust anyone. She doesn't think it's 'bad enough' to seek counselling, and tbh if she did, where would she go for it anyway?

I started to feel trapped. We broke up, he kept contacting me upset, we ended up back together. I was scared to say how I felt, and spent my time reassuring him. It got to the point that he was convinced I was going to cheat on him, so would track my phone, get angry if I didn't respond to messages or spent my time with other people. He wouldn't even let me walk on the pavement with another person if he was there. I finally plucked up enough courage to break up with him, as I realised I was miserable and it was controlling.

When we were in the car I was alone with him, and when he was annoyed he would drive way over the limit and refuse to talk to me. One time he pulled over to fix a tyre and I was ready to run in case he did something. He made out like it was my fault for upsetting him. I eventually left him and got counselling.

My first boyfriend at 14 was controlling and physically abusive.

My second boyfriend from 14-16 was sexually abusive and controlled who I spoke to, what I did and what I wore.

My third boyfriend from 16-18 was sexually coercive very regularly.

My fourth boyfriend from 18-19 was jealous when I spent time with other boys and threatened to share intimate pictures of me online & was emotionally manipulative.

My friends knew/know about a lot of what went on... lots of them had similar experiences themselves... we didn’t realise things like sexual coercion were wrong & didn’t know how to identify sexual abuse, so weren’t in a position to support each other. Instead I remember laughing about tactics to physically block unwanted sexual contact by our boyfriends for as long as possible before giving up to just get it over with.

Although there is a lot more awareness of abusive/controlling behaviours, I think a similar issue still exists amongst friends. I think when two friends are experiencing similar issues it can incorrectly validate these behaviours as being the norm. It can also be easy to laugh off serious problems amongst friends as a way of coping with information which you don’t know how to help yourself or someone else with.

It is through speaking to friends myself that I realised that my first relationship was toxic. He was manipulative and at times his behaviour was illegal. Being only 19 at the time, I didn’t recognize this until I told friends about him and they supported me with ending the relationship and keeping my mental health stable. As a result I am always very open with friends about my current relationship and always offer non-judgmental advice to my friends to keep the culture of sharing as it is so important to rely on people you trust in these instances.

It was my first serious relationship and he always seemed to have great excuses for his behaviour. I was mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abused by him, losing my virginity to rape. He would beat me every time I would say 'no' to him and would force me to perform sexual acts.

After that, I had such low self-esteem and confidence, I just lost all will to fight. I had no one to support me... I had to face the abuse and its consequences all by myself. I even stopped fighting back against guys who were trying to force themselves on me on a night out so I've actually lost count on how many times I've been raped. I reported it once but was told nothing could be done and to be more careful next time so I stopped reporting them. The world is so dangerous for a woman that you learn to just accept your fate or never leave the house again…

At 17 I entered an abusive relationship. It slowly got abusive and I didn't see it happening until one day I realised I was isolated from everyone, my grades had suffered and I was contemplating suicide. I didn't know about the support I could have and I felt as though I couldn't go to the police as I was led to believe this was normal behaviour.

I was in a toxic relationship with someone in my class.There were red flags straight away, but I didn’t know what to do as I had to see him everyday. I let so many things slide. He was a bully and gaslighted everyone in his life, but people believed all his lies.

One afternoon, I broke down with a teacher I trusted. I told her everything and I felt heard, however it all went down hill straight away. The college allowed him to finish the course AND stay in my class after constant harassment, even the police being called on him. The things he did weren’t exactly crimes, however harassing and stalking is a concern.

My friends were really worried about me. He used to shout at me for hanging out with other boys and for not spending every minute of my time with him. I would be at the gym, leave and I would have 50 missed calls and alot of angry texts, even though I told him where I was.

He was 2 years older than me so was really strong and bigger than me. He used to be really mean to me but be really apologetic minutes later... It got to the point that I was scared to be around him. I stopped seeing my friends, stopped my hobbies, isolated myself at school and I was basically at his disposal. It finally ended when I found out he was having sex with other girls and I told my mum everything that was happening.

I don't think I was in an abusive relationship because people have it so much worse than I do. I just had no idea what to do. I was scared, worried and felt forced to push my friends away when I needed them the most. Life hasn't been the same since.

I was 18. I had just turned 18. He was also 18. We knew each other from class and we would only talk online. We became friends online and it would lead to sexual dares or sexual roleplaying. I told him 'no, stop' but then he wouldn't talk to me. So I did things for him occasionally and when I confronted him he said 'I didn't pressure you'.

My girlfriend calls me fat and says I need to go on a diet. I find it hard to be happy near her and scared to break up. She sometimes treats me like an object and tells me what to wear and do.

When I was 16 I started to see a guy a few years older than me. He was well known in the area so everyone knew me as his lady. He used to buy me new phones and gifts. I had to go to a family funeral so he faked being in a car crash so I came home early. He told me people were after him as he owed them money, he knew I was saving for a school trip and asked me to loan my savings, he never repaid me. He got people to break into my house twice and stole a laptop. He used to threaten other male friends.

I was in a relationship for 7 months. At the beginning, he was sweet and cared about me. 4 months in, he pressured me into having sex. I didn't want to, but was scared he'd get angry. I said yes but the whole time I was frozen. When he was angry, I'd be frightened that he was going to physically hurt me. The last 2 months, the only contact we'd have would be him getting angry at me. Other than that, nothing. It got to the point that if I got a notification on my phone, I'd feel physically sick.

He asked me to send a picture of myself, saying I was pretty and I was boring and frigid if I didn't. He would say how ugly he was. He sent shirtless pictures of himself. I was 12, he was 15. I tried to make him feel better about himself, it made him angry so I stopped. He'd give me compliments. After a month I decided to block him. He made himself out to be someone I could turn to. He used me to make himself feel better. I haven't heard from him since. From his last message, he still thinks he did nothing wrong.

My first boyfriend tried to come on to me a lot and I'd say no (I'm a virgin and didn't feel ready). He kept being more needy and saying 'I'm just going to keep asking until you say yes'. I am in a wheelchair so I often felt uneasy because he would have to help me into my chair, so I wouldn't be able to move off the sofa if he didn't help. I always felt really vulnerable around him. We aren't together now. I realised I shouldn't feel uncomfortable around someone who was supposed to love me. I'm just glad he didn't do anything to me.

I'm 16 and my boyfriend only lets me talk to the 2 friends he approves of, makes me tell him exactly where I am at all times and makes me call him god. I'm not allowed to text anyone but him and I can only wear clothes he chooses for me. If I don't, he puts me down and imposes various punishments and doesn't let me leave my house to see anyone, including him. I can't even post anything online without his approval, he controls my weight, my makeup and what music I can listen to.

He always wanted to do things and wanted sex and nudes and I'd always say no and he'd beg and beg until I said yes. Even after I broke up with him he threatened me and blackmailed me and made me so insecure and uncomfortable around people. He lied to me so many times about everything and would straight up flirt with other girls right in front of me. I find it hard to trust people because of him.

I met my friends when I was nervous to go out alone due to being harassed. He found us and shouted in my face, humiliating me. He threatened to hit me. I did as I was told and went to where he was and he shouted "you never try hard enough". I was in love and didn't know any better. When he stayed at mine he always wanted to have sex. He'd guilt trip me until I said yes. I got severely depressed. I'm out of that relationship and in a new one and I've realised how toxic the relationship was. I'm still fighting depression but I'm much happier in myself.

I'm a girl who is 16. I realised I didn't like boys while dating one - when I tried to break the news to him, he told me I was wrong, that maybe I liked girls, but I HAD to like boys because we had done "stuff". I was scared and he was a year and a half older than me, taller than me, and I honestly thought he would hurt me if I tried to leave, given the ways he had acted before (grabbing my wrists, pulling me about, he hit me a few times). It took me a really long time to get away from him, I dated him for nearly 2 years out of fear.

I had a boyfriend who would accidentally hit me and spend all his time with other girls and say they were just friends. He always wanted me to spend time with him and not my friends. Whenever he was stressed or annoyed he took it out on me but whenever we were with friends he would be nice and caring. He's yelled at me before so I got scared and ran off and he then grabbed my waist and refused to let me go and got in my face and told me off for running away from him. He always pressured me into doing things that I didn't want to do.

Me and my boyfriend had a loving relationship until he wanted to have sex but I wasn't ready. I told him it was because I thought he'd leave me if I didn't. When we were about to, I stopped it and said I felt uncomfortable. He kept trying until I pushed him off. He said he didn't love me anymore and he never wanted to come over again. I broke up with him that evening and he would cry to me begging for me back but then said only if we had sex. I declined. Previously he'd been angry that I hadn't sent nudes.

Last year on my way home from school I stopped by the shops to get my boyfriend presents for his birthday. I turned my location off on Snapchat beforehand to make it a surprise. He got suspicious as to where I was and began shouting thinking that I was doing something bad behind his back, he never believed that I was just getting him his birthday presents... It was my fault for making him suspicious in the first place I guess but he would also limit my contact with people because he didn't like me being around them…

I was 12 when I got with my boyfriend, we were going to the same school. He started saying sexual things to me (he was also 12) and said "if you don't feel the same, we may need some time apart." I really loved him and told him I felt the same. He is kind of controlling but I don't really mind because he says he is only doing it because he loves me the way I am and doesn't want me to change, so he says that if I do things like wear makeup or dye my hair, he will dump me. I do as he says so that we can stay together and be happy.

I was 14, he was 16. I had other friends outside of the relationship, and any time I didn't hang out with him, he'd get mad and say stuff like 'you love me right?'. So I'd hang out with him. He'd constantly ask to 'do stuff', and sometimes I just wasn't in the mood to do anything or at least I was uncomfortable, but if I said I didn't want to, he'd ignore me in his bedroom for hours, so I'd just sit there in silence until I gave in. He'd constantly pressure me saying things like 'don't you love me? then do it'.

I was 15 and he was 15. We were together for 2 years, got engaged and everything was perfect... when my family were around. He would shout at me and swear at me if I did something wrong. If I spoke to others he would complain and tell them it's none of their business. He cheated on me a few times and when I called him up on it he'd bring up times I was drunk and where people forced me to do things and made me feel small.

I started dating this guy and he insisted on paying for everything. He would buy me things and take me on expensive dates. He started to belittle me, make me feel bad about my body and compare me to other women as a 'joke'. We would argue and he would apologise but continue doing it. He told me what to wear when we were going out. When I tried to leave he said I should feel bad about all the money he had spent on me. He got his friends to message me after I blocked his number.

I really liked him, I knew he didn't feel the same, I tried to be perfect. He would only meet up if he wanted sex, he used to be forceful and would make me do things. I thought if I did what he said even when I was frightened of him he might like me back. I haven't seen him in 7 months but the things he did still play in my mind. I am now in a happy healthy relationship and I understand what love and care really is. You shouldn't be forced or feel obliged to do as he says just because you want him to like you.

At the start everything was amazing getting to know each other, we got our own flat thinking we've found the one. One day everything changed and I was beaten up on a daily basis. I got back with him after splitting up and things didn't change; I got made to do things I didn't want to do. I was only allowed one meal a day which put me to 6 1/2 stone at 18. I lost family and friends for staying. I was scared but didn't want to show it. I've been out this relationship a month. The police are now dealing with the case.